I Hear Voices
Sometimes the voices in my head are just my own crazy mind talking to me, bugging me with story ideas or task reminders or harassing me about the mistakes I've made. I'm a noodler — ideas or topics grab me and won't let go, and I'll turn them over and over in my head, looking at them from all sides and trying to come up with solutions that make sense.
Often, though, the voices I hear sing a song. As a lifetime music lover and once-upon-a-time singer, I've always defined, understood, and connected to my world through music. From every stage of my life, there are certain songs that articulate my mood, my philosophy, my thoughts for that time. Although my profession is an intellectual one, focused on rational, practical, business-oriented thinking, music still reaches me on a visceral, emotional, even irrational level, and songs speak to and for me in a way that defies logical explanation.
Recently, the words replaying themselves in my mind are song lyrics that have spoken to me on a gut level over the last few weeks. The most famous version of “I Look to You” was recorded by Whitney Houston, for whose so-called “comeback” album it was written by artist R. Kelly. I bought the recording and video of Whitney's version from iTunes, but you can find multiple videos of the song on YouTube.
Rather than try to analyze or explain why this song is so meaningful to me right now, I thought I'd just share the lyrics with you and encourage you to read them carefully, thoughtfully, maybe even prayerfully. If you feel it speaks to — or for — you as well, I'd love to hear how. Leave a comment below, or send me an email.
As I lay me down
Heaven, hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through,
Who on earth can I turn to?I look to you, I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong.
I look to you, I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.About to lose my breath;
There's no more fighting left.
Sinking to rise no more.
Searching for that open door.And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head.I look to you, I look to you.
And when all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong.
I look to you, I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.My levees are broken
My walls have come tumbling down on me
The rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need you to set me freeTake me far away from the battle;
I need you; shine on me.
