Is Friendship Harder Than It Used to Be?

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“If you have one true friend you have more than your share.” Thomas Fuller

When our youngest child was in elementary school, we moved cross country to a new town where we didn't know anybody. Sam came bouncing through the door after his very first day at his new school with a boy we'd never seen before and introduced him as “my friend. We sat on the bus together.”

Mike and I laughed at the fact that for a ten-year-old, that's all it took to be friends: just sitting next to each other on the school bus. Sam and this new friend spent many happy hours together in the three years we lived in that neighborhood.

© Marcelmooij | Dreamstime.com

© Marcelmooij | Dreamstime.com

As you get older, it's a little harder to make friends. Maybe we become a little more wary, a little less open. Maybe we're too busy to spend the time it takes to really get to know someone well enough to call them friend.

“It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” John Leonard

Whatever the reason, it seems that these days I have many acquaintances (people I know and whose company I enjoy) and fewer friends, which makes me treasure even more those true friends–the people who know everything about me and like me anyway. Most of those friends live far from Texas, where I live now, so we rarely get to spend time together, but knowing they're there makes my life better. When we do have those rare opportunities to get together, it seems like time falls away and we just pick up where we left off the last time. These are the people I know I can count on to understand and support me, to be there for me in a time of need. I hope, I believe, they feel the same about me.

What I've been thinking about a lot lately is that most of those people are folks I've known for many years. It seems like it's been a long time since I've found a new friend to add to that category. And I wonder whether the reason is that I've changed. You know the old saying: to have a friend, you must be one. Am I less friendly, less open, less dependable than I was when I was younger? I hope not.

What do you think? Do you stay in touch with friends from your school days, or have you found new friends as you've grown older? How do you define a “true friend,” and has that definition changed?
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Greenville, Texas
I Was Just Thinking . . . 
Legal Blog: Real Estate Law Blog
Twitter: @LauraMcMom
Email me

Only For the Weak

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I've been thinking lately about what it means to be a Christian, and what it takes to be a “good” Christian. I've spent a lot of time in church from my childhood, been involved in ministry in one capacity or another for a lot of years, listened to a lot of sermons.

100_1458One of the things I've struggled with over the years is finding the right balance between “works” and grace. I believe we are saved by grace alone, “not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:9). But I've heard it taught, and I believe, that those who've accepted that grace have an obligation to “live a life worth of the calling . . .” (Ephesians 4:1). And sometimes–maybe not for you, but certainly for me–it's hard to live that worthy life.

When I struggle to be the kind of person that I long to be, I appreciate the lyrics of a song called “Only for the Weak,” recorded by Avalon (click on the title to hear it in YouTube):

“Some say it's rules and regulations, and trying to always be right,
No room for mistakes in the choices we make,
Only the strong survive.
But it's not about perfect performance or resolution of will,
It's all about surrender,
Giving up, being still.

It's only for the weak, for the faint of heart,
Those driven to their knees, those who live with scars.
There's power from beyond, we're certain where it's from,
And that's our source of strength.
Before we follow Christ, we need to be advised
It's only for the weak.”

I guess the point is that while what we do matters, Christianity is based on grace. And grace means that ultimately it's not about what we do, but what He's done.

I am grateful that I don't have to have it all together all the time.

How about you?
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Greenville, Texas
I Was Just Thinking . . .
Legal Blog: Real Estate Law Blog
Twitter: @LauraMcMom
Email me

Summer’s End and a New Adventure

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2013-08-06 05.37.49Are you as surprised as I am how fast this summer–this year–is flying by? It's August already! Here in north Texas we're enjoying triple-digit temps this week–the forecasters are promising Dallas highs to hit around 106 degrees in the next day or two! Ikes–I'm glad my day job keeps me indoors!

As the summer winds to its inevitable end, I'm committed to using as much of my “free” time (that is, time when I'm not working at my day job) to finish my novel, so a lot of other things are falling by the wayside for the next few weeks. But there are two quick things I wanted to share with you:

First, as a reminder, I am giving away four books this month. If you haven't yet read my recent post about good summer reads (which didn't go out to my subscribers due to a glitch in the feed), be sure to click over to that post, read the brief summaries of the four novels I recommend there, and leave a comment at that post for your chance to get a free copy of the book of your choice. The list includes really wonderful novels by Beth Vogt, Julie Klassen, Pamela Meyers, and D.M. Webb. You won't want to miss this opportunity!

2013-08-06 05.30.31Second, I'm taking the plunge and starting a podcast! Working on the first episodes now. It's going to be focused on productivity and time management types of topics, helping women find ways to create the lives they dream of and accomplish the things that matter to them. I envision it as being short episodes with practical, useful information–something you can listen to while running errands or cooking dinner or taking a walk. I hope to include interviews with inspiring women about how they manage their busy schedules, etc. I haven't yet set the firm date for the first episode to go live, but it'll be soon, so if you're interested, be sure you're subscribed to this blog, because my blog readers will be the first to hear about it. And if you you have any questions related to organization, managing time, etc., I'd love to hear what they are so I can perhaps address them in coming podcast episodes.

Questions for you–please share your thoughts in the comments. I'll be choosing one commenter to receive a special prize!

  1. Do you listen to any podcasts? (Do you know what a podcast is?!) If so, which ones, and what do you like about them?
  2. What is your biggest challenge when it comes to organizing your life and stuff, or managing your time and tasks?

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Greenville, Texas
I Was Just Thinking . . . 
Legal Blog: Real Estate Law Blog
Twitter: @LauraMcMom
Email me

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